Selfishness equates to the misalignment of yourself from social situations. It is the lack of human understanding on a deep emotional level. To a hammer, all problems look like nails. Words are the nails and we are the hammers.
For some of us, social media has made interacting with others extremely difficult. If we are put in difficult situations where we offend someone online, we simply don’t reply and log off. No consequence. If this is done face to face, people are more inclined to feel more hurt, attacked or emotional about slandering and banter. Talking through others also doesn’t assist in reforming a situation. If there is a problem, query or trouble talk to THAT person and not those around them/close to them. It doesn’t help the situation. Communication is then poisoned by the noise of other people’s opinions, voices, tones and body language. Talking to those around you is so important. Sometimes listening is more important then talking.
Recently, I stayed in a house with thirteen of my friends. I finally got to see the social interactions and dynamics between us, the highs, lows and complete breaking down of friendships that I was scared to face. It’s good that some of these things happened though, it’s good to see the selfish nature of some so we can align their motivations to their emotional intelligence of others. It’s nice to see how much they care about others.
A lot of things didn’t go right and I regret some of the choices I may have made, but that’s life, we make mistakes, it’s when you make these mistakes again and again that irks me, pokes at me, stabs me in the chest and makes me not want to trust anyone anymore. Trust and selflessness are two very big things when becoming closer friends with people, without them, a friendship can’t move forward and social awareness is the stepping stone.
It irritates me when people don’t understand social cues and maybe that’s hypocritical of me, I never understood a lot about others feelings until I sat down and talked to them. But basic awareness of reading a room of individuals and picking the right thing to say is more complex and important than some may think, it is critical.
I hate it when an individual makes a stupid statement about someone else, I hate when someone hurts someone else with words that they don’t even understand the meaning of themselves. I hate people who don’t understand the consequences of their actions. Because, you know, it’s selfish to only think of yourself in a social context. I find it so… cringey when someone tries to be funny but is met with an awkward silence and sighs. Stop.
For a long time, I let people with a lack of emotional awareness, lack of social understanding and selfishness play me like a fiddle. I believed I was in the wrong for being the things they told me I was. When I realised that they were in the wrong, I… I didn’t really know what to do.
I was labeled as meek because I understood how to act in social situations, to set a bar, know the bar and try never to step across it. For being easily persuaded, for being able to keep a tight lip when arguments broke out. We as humans are inherently different, take different comments in varying contexts and dissect them in unique ways.
Of course we are allowed to give second chances in our own way. However, in my experiences, I decide to forgive, but never, ever forget what those people have done and said to me. A punch fucking hurts, but words linger, grasp you and manifest around you in a strangle hold until you’re only left thinking about the worst that’s to come from them. Like barbed wire, words tighten, pierce and eventually, will kill you.
Words cut deeper than knives. A knife can be pulled out, words are embedded into our soul.
Afterword: This was a rant more than anything. I do enjoy the intricacies of social interaction and may work more on this phenomena. Hopefully I can remain socially aware and try not to step on anyone’s toes. I also genuinely had a good time on my holiday, more things went right than wrong and I would do the whole crazy thing over again.
~ krisesandchrosses ~