Values that drive Stories – Being a Spontaneous Individual

How to be happy in the world we live in is difficult to put into words. To become someone who is happy, is to have that of a ‘normal life‘. However, a normal life is dependent on the context of an individual. One person may think having a family with children is normal, another may believe monogamous relationships are normal.

To defy normalities is to allow ones own individuality to become present. The first seminar in BCM311 (subject at the University of Wollongong run by Kate Bowles) allowed me to realise that this individuality is the driving force for the majority of my actions in life, while the value of being spontaneous has been in the passengers seat. This defiance of societal norms fuelled my decisions, my most recent was an alteration to my appearance.

Getting my ears pierced.

When I made this decision, I was nervous. My parents sending me texts, confirming my decision multiple times and my friend pushing me to do it. I’ve been contemplating sticking a needle in my ears for a few years now, but I never expected myself to do it. I told myself, ‘Do it Kris. Just do it, don’t care what others think about you.’. It was one of the large steps I took to finally putting myself first and realising the values which I uphold in my life.

Thoughts of doubt and fear plagued me at that moment when deciding.

What if people didn’t like them? What if I looked stupid? Would I get laughed at? How do you even clean them?

Putting those thoughts behind me, I did it. I couldn’t be more content with my decision. It just adds another piece to the Kris puzzle which most likely will never be completed (I am horrendous at puzzles).

The words which come to mind when thinking back about this action would be individuality, being spontaneous and the ability to be happy within ones own skin, being true to ones self.

Patterns in the life of an individual are a funny thing. They are similar to a road which winds and bends, and a rollercoaster which slowly goes up and comes crashing down. They form a journey, which creates the context for their future adventures.

I have realised through this exercise that I made spontaneous decisions based on whether they will affect my relationships with others and how I will stand out when being compared to others.

This is therefore relevant as my family has always told me to be myself, always be a good person and always treat people with respect. To always take every opportunity you are faced with, be a ‘yes person’ and give it everything you have. This is where I have identified my spontaneous nature.

My social circle would identify me as being a bit different to the rest. They embrace my quirks and nature, and somehow understand that I am sometimes argumentative and spur me on. I am always weary to try new things, say strange things as I believe they may react badly or in someway contort the meaning of my actions into something negative.

However, I believe it is these people who invest their time in me (willingly I might add) and support my quirks and attributes that have created a (somewhat) confident individual person.

A person I am happy with (not to say I love myself or anything but to identify that to be happy I must be comfortable with myself- I hope that sounded better then the way I typed it).


With society imposing norms on individuals and conveying to individuals how conforming and blending into society is normal makes ‘me’ want to stand out. BCM311 has (within 3 hours) made me understand more about myself then I have in the past month. What an insight.

~ krisesandchrosses ~